Traitors must be silent, unless they are praying

Silencing. That's what is going on here. We have become the most silencing democracy in the Middle East. Apparently, we're fine with that, if not then pray because praying is the best and then no one will ask you to shut up and await your turn. If you think otherwise and by mistake you're not a believer, even at this time of stress, you're a traitor and advised to move to Judea and Sumeria (Please do not use the term "West Bank" so said MK Ayelet Shaked, it's a traitors jargon) and defend Palestinians and may you also be kidnapped. 

Every sentence regarding the current situation must begin with an expressive heart breaking, yet full of cliches, thoughts regarding the three kidnapped young men; only to prove that the fact that you have other thoughts, and your mind is not one tracked, doesn't make you instantly a traitor that should be sent to Syria, at the very least. If your words do not start with a saying of how your heart goes out to the kidnapped and their families (like a proof of concept), you are marked as inhuman? In fact, if you have any reservations, would should probably shut up. No doubt - democracy. The IDF actions are necessary (remember that the second war in Lebanon was also necessary?), and if you think otherwise - you're wrong, this is the only possible way to return our boys hone. An answer to every doubt, and the answer stays the same - 3 kidnapped boys. The fact that the IDF's extensive actions probably sealed those boys fate and caused an escalation. 

We're shutting our eyes or stick them in a prayer book, while the IDF is implementing a contingency plan and re-occupies the West Bank. News of killing, uncalled for destruction of education institutions, shops, innocents' livelihood, violence and looting. And what do we say? Oh, surely it's all orchestrated to bring the boys safely, the real concern to the fate of the three.Come on, such an extensive and violent operation - how can one "buy" that? How easy it is to incite us? The kidnapping and real concern for their lives are cynically used to justify our actions. How easy it is for us to justify the "necessary" violence cause we're dealing with savages who only understand power, while we thoroughly color the other.   

Collective punishment? Oh, that's quite all right, they are all terrorists/they enable terrorists to work within them - well, please decide are they all terrorists or not? Besides, they say, what other choices do we have? Oh, that's it - there is a difference between closing the area and extensive search and what we are doing right now. I am not a high rank military person or anything, I do not know if this is necessary, but I will agree to assume that Israel is trying to null the possibility of transporting the kidnapped boys (although I must say that The IDF's operation is leading me to believe they act under the assumption that the kidnapped are already dead or that this time negotiating and prisoners release is not on the table this time). What the IDF is actually doing, the arrest of elderly people, uncontrolled shooting, destruction of education institutions, private houses, shops, citizen's livelihood and looting - is surely way beyond necessary even in the current situation. 

And the media? well the media is drafted. No room for any other opinion, oh well maybe except of Ha'aretz, which give a small room for doubt. Israel Today dedicated an awfully long PR article to the first lady, Sarah Netanyahu. What started as a report of her visit to the families of the kidnapped continued as an image building report that shed a light on this rare woman among us, the one the public likes to act but is actually the motherly psychologist the nation truly needs. I cannot stop but to cynically think how comfortable this operation is - just imagine that they'd be asked to explain the whole garden furniture thingy. Not that, God forbid, I am implying that they enjoy the kidnapping, I'm just saying that the wave of public opinion is positive. Sarah worried and Netanyahu hugging the families is far better than Sarah irritated and Netanyahu twisting. 

Alas, everything is a spin. The decision that it's the Hamas who's behind the kidnapping is also a spin. I don't know what organization is responsible, no one really knows. But it's comfortable to blame Hamas, it serves a purpose - it goes to show that Hamas is a terror organization and not a possible partner, and so is the unity Palestinian government. And if eventually turn to be a false accusation, the work on the Israeli public opinion will already be done. Our long term national memory is so short that even mentioning that the PLO was also considered a terror organization not to be recognized by Israel is redundant. 

And what about the Palestinians? Abu Mazen renouncing the kidnapping? Well, not good enough since it's in English and it's aimed to international ears. Abu Mazen renouncing the kidnapping in Arabic? Not good enough, he must show it in actions, not words. Amazingly it's easy to set the bar high on Abu Mazen's side and not the Israeli one. Where is the Palestinian Nelson Mandela? He's is standing right in front of us only his opponent is a well rehearsed actor that will deem everything unsatisfactory and publicly claim that there is no Palestinian partner and only provocations. And what does the Israeli public do? Follow like blind men. There are no doubts, no independent thought, we follow. Being part of the herd is always easier. We keep on asking where humanity was during WWII. Forget history, where are we here and now? 

Palestinian youth killed by IDF's fire? answer - "Where are their parents?" Israeli kids hitchhike in the middle of the night in dangerous zones? answer - "What on earth do you want? boys will be boys they never listen to their parents!" Well it's good that we have things in perspective. Palestinians are bad and they are the worse parents, but we are just fine. Yeah, right.  

The Palestinians are fanatics? Oh, well, here everything is just swell. Religious charlatans are announcing that if all the Jewish women will lit candles on Friday night, good news will come and if we will all pray some miracle will happen. Apparently a good Israeli is not only a right-winger, he also must believe in God. If you believe in human rights and do not believe in God - you have no room here. You are a traitor. We all know what the verdict is for traitors. It is lovely that we can call ourselves a democracy and feel really good about ourselves because autosuggestion is a great cure, especially in times of need. 

The Solitude of the one who does not talk to God

I do not believe in God, not that he believes in me, but there are moments that I can truly understand those who do believe. When you feel the full burden of life with no one to share it with – God, as I see it, brings a virtual relief. You can talk to him and he doesn’t answer, that brings comfort. You can pray to him and ask for his kindness, which in itself brings positive thoughts, it lets in hope. It’s a passive hope, but it’s comforting and it facilitates convenience, which in return gives strength to continue and to aspire and this hope will take you further. There is something therapeutic about it, and it also takes some of the responsibility away, since there is someone else to share your burden. There is a higher entity and this entity might just help lift the burden. In an case, it will not make me believe or pray, just feel a tinge of envy. A tiny surge of envy.

I Guess at some point, every adult feels the urge that someone else, for at least a moment, will take responsibility on his life, something in the lines of “stop the train I want out”, only it doesn’t happen not ever, not to anyone. Occasionally, but only occasionally, I find my choice to homeschool my kids nearly impossible. It’s not the fact that it is 24/7, 365 days a year plus an additional day every four years (do not disturb me while I count). It’s not the almost impossible responsibility that derives from the fact that it is mostly me, good or bad. It’s not just the attempt to contain. It’s not just the attempt to stay sane. It’s not just the need to find patience, when the tank is already on fumes. It’s not just the guilt with every screw-up, and there are screw-ups. It’s not just the erosion of a crazy routine with endless activities. It’s not just the fact that there are no grownups to talk to most of the day. But it is also those tiny doubts that your choice, that to outsiders seems so simple, holds. And those doubts are not amorphous, those doubts are targeting your capability to fulfill your decision.

I’m not unique, parenthood, maybe more than anything else in the whole world, brings doubts. It is hard to differentiate between the way you perceive yourself and the way you perceive your offspring. No matter what you do, you put yourself in anything your kid does, and it is you that should be put outside of this equation. As a parent you need to realize that you are raising a whole and independent entity, which is not you. What a hard task it is to assimilate this fact. Raising kids pushes all the right buttons.  

There is nothing harder than your kids’ difficulties, it brings competing with things you never dreamed of in your wildest dreams and brings impossible challenges to your  patience and containing abilities, that of course given a state of emotional blackmail, which is explosive though seems so innocent. If there is anything that can break me to pieces it is the fact that I can lose it and even shout. When I shout I get more stressed than the kids and then I go and kill myself once over by analyzing myself to death while trying to figure out how not to do it again. While I forgive my kids for anything, I find it hard to forgive myself and I do it stingily and only after lots of self-convincing efforts.

And then, when sometimes I feel the burden is too much and I dare complain, what do I get? The undying reply that makes me want to dance flying Kong-Fu style kicking all around – “It is your choice!” True, damn it is my choice. But if I were a doctor and dare to complain no one would say “but it is your choice”, right? They’d understand my swollen heart and offer some support, lend a shoulder to cry on. Those are the exact moments when I understand the solitude of the one who does not speak to God, say me.